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Post by himiko on Jun 13, 2007 10:46:49 GMT
Well, it seems to be time to break in this board, too, being as it is thus far empty. Tis empty no longer!
Anyway, this thread is a warning. A grave, grave warning. If you happen to be in a video shop one day, and happen to come across a film named "Merlin:The Return", do not stop out of curiosity. Do not wonder if it has anything to do with Merlin/Merlin's Apprentice (it doesn't, BTW, it's made by a totally different company, with different "actors" and a different storyline). Do not waste hard earned money one it. You walk away from that shelf, and that video/DVD as if it contained anthrax.
If you pass a paper that is giving this DVD away free, don't buy it for the DVD. Or if you must buy it, subject the paper and the DVD to a ritualistic burning, yelling "Out, foul spirits! Out!".
If you ever come across anyone who was in this miserable excuse for a film, stab them in the eyes. And if you ever come across the script writer, ensure s/he is tortured before death.
With these rules firmly in place, the world will be a safer place. I guarantee you.
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Post by tosca on Jun 13, 2007 12:26:18 GMT
We'll all bear that in mind I'm sure. You've already mentioned how bad this is to me before, so now I feel properly educated. I remember when Merlin came out in the papers, accompanied by MA and MR the following days, and I was pretty pissed off that I missed the other two. *thonks head* Little did I know...
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Post by Mab's Familiar on Jun 13, 2007 19:42:39 GMT
Well I'm afraid it's too late for me. Unfortunatly, I already saw that piece of shit crap bull's droppings (damn those forum rules). I join with himiko to warn you all from the evil that this title holds. If you wish to keep what is left from your sanity, don't watch that movie!
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Post by himiko on Jun 13, 2007 20:35:52 GMT
Tosca, I didn't realise MA came free in the papers, too (if it's the same fantasy DVD set that I'm thinking of, which had Merlin and Merlin:The Return in it).
*pats crysta comfortingly on the back* I know how you feel. Loathe though I am to admit it, if Sam Neill's Merlin had appeared at any point during Merlin: The Return, I would probably have leapt on him and huggled him. That is a rare and extreme circumstance of an unparalleled nature. Perhaps you and I should start a support group for other unfortunate victims?
I also think the tagline for this film should be "Come back, "Merlin's Apprentice"! All is forgiven!"
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Post by hilloneko on Jun 13, 2007 21:00:20 GMT
Really, it is that bad *makes sure she listens to himiko's advice and never sees it*
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Post by himiko on Jun 13, 2007 21:05:30 GMT
*is happy at having made the world a better place*
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Post by kamikazijoe on Jun 13, 2007 21:50:30 GMT
~Is twisted masochist, and actually wants to see it~
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Post by himiko on Jun 13, 2007 21:52:28 GMT
You're a sick, sick man, Joel.
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Post by tosca on Jun 13, 2007 22:34:57 GMT
Tosca, I didn't realise MA came free in the papers, too (if it's the same fantasy DVD set that I'm thinking of, which had Merlin and Merlin:The Return in it). *shrugs* Maybe it didn't. You know what my memory is like.
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Post by himiko on Jun 13, 2007 22:48:41 GMT
LOL, fair enough. Mind you, I might be wrong to. You know what mine's like, too.
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Post by tosca on Jun 14, 2007 16:08:37 GMT
Perhaps not the greatest mind-set with your exams looming, dear. Ah, well. We'll be fuddle-heads together and let others suffer at our appalling memory loss. ;D
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Post by himiko on Jun 14, 2007 20:27:24 GMT
Well, I can remember Maths and Computing and... whats the other subject I do again?....
...
...dammit...
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Post by tosca on Jun 14, 2007 21:18:00 GMT
*pats* You just stick to your Merlin geekery, dear. It's far more important.
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Post by himiko on Jun 14, 2007 21:24:35 GMT
*nods to self* Yes, yes, the Merlin geekery....
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Post by himiko on Jan 10, 2008 12:10:42 GMT
As I said in the Merlin Theivery thread, I shall post a brief overview for Lane and Libitine and anyone else who is curious.
A scientist in the 20th century is trying to free Mordred (who is, bizarrely, a sorceror) from another dimension that Merlin trapped him in way back when- also there is his mother, his evil knights, and Lancelot and Guinevere who are by now really bored of each other's company. Merlin, who is living as a hermit in some nearby woods, and two kiddies who are irritating and need to die, find this out and try to stop them, by waking Arthur and his men. Cue cheesy scenes where they try to attack trucks, thinking they are dragons. At the end, Arthur and his men take the EEVIL scientist back to the other dimension with them, and everyone lives happily ever after.
It also suffers from many of the problems (bad accents, irritating actors, shitty scripts and evident filming in the wrong place- Tip 1: There are no trees next to Stonehenge)
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